i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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