i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Be still, my beating vagina.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
