I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
