the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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