Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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