We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
