It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
