it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
