Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
