Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
