I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
