some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
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