I must be too annoying 4 u.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
