He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
