soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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