im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
