I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Everything about him screamed your future.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
