suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
