When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
