On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
