He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
