SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
how drunk are you?
Several
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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