I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
