Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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