Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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