Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
