I want to have your abortion
I will die if light touches me.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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