I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
