I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
