so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
