meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
