Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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