Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
