Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
