i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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