The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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