I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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