Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
