Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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