The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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