Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
