Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
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