I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
