So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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