Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
