You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
