awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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