weddingsv make me drug and hornr
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
