Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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