You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
