Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
