you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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