Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
