Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Please don't give away my fajitas
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
